


Too Young, Desperate For Attention

by hanorganaas



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Study, Community: hc_bingo, Gen, Hazing, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-20
Updated: 2012-07-20
Packaged: 2017-11-10 08:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted acceptance. It was the only reason 18 year old John Sheppard followed his fellow air force trainees into the woods that night even though it risked losing his dreams to fly sneaking out of bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Young, Desperate For Attention

He wanted acceptance. It was the only reason 18 year old John Sheppard followed his fellow air force trainees into the woods that night even though it risked losing his dreams to fly sneaking out of bed. He never seemed to find it, not at home and never at school even though he was a member of various sports teams. He thought being around people with the same common interest would be a new chance to find the acceptance he often craved. 

But they knew he was different, he often kept himself presentable even though he was covered in dirt and grime. And when they did inquire about his life, he had more stories to tell of his travels to exotic places causing angry envious looks from his fellow trainees.

John thought when they asked him to come with him they finally came around and they would just be hanging out. He was wrong. He didn’t know how they walked before they all surrounded him at all angles. Something was off, this wasn’t a friendly little chat in the woods…

He turned his feet and began to run but four strong arms grabbed a hold of him. 

“You brought the rope McNally?” One of them said.

“Of course!” McNally replied, “and a bandanna so no one could hear him squeal.”

“Perfect! Tie him up.”

John didn’t scream for help, he feared what would happen if his training officer found him. His attackers would point fingers at him to be the mastermind of this little meeting. But he did fight them off as best as he could as they tied the rope around his wrists and ankles. 

“Look guys,” John pleaded, “I won’t tell anyone about this just please-“ It was all he managed to get in as the rough, red fabric was stuffed in his mouth and tied at the back of his head. His head was then pushed forward in the dirt before being lifted off the ground by the little hair he had left from his army haircut.

“We don’t care rich boy,” He heard the leader of the group say in a mocking tone, “you want to be one of us, you gotta learn Daddy’s money isn’t gonna save you from everything not even this.”

A boot roughly collided with his stomach. John bit down hard on the spit soaked fabric as the pain surged through his body.

Don’t cry, don’t fight it they will accept you after this, they have to. 

They each took turns. Sometimes they punched him. Sometimes they kicked him. They even went as far as ripping branches off the trees and using them as canes hitting the sensitive skin of his back and stomach. Not an inch of his body was spared. It was getting harder not to scream as they laughed. Blood oozed from newly formed cuts that marred his body and he was pretty sure bruises had formed on his broken and battered body.

The torture lasted for a few minutes before with one last kick to the stomach, they were finished. If the humiliation wasn’t enough they made him crawl back to the base trying to work through the pain which was so intense it felt as if his body was going to rip apart.

\----------------------------------------

The next morning was hell, after all he had to pretend that he didn’t have the daylight out of him by some of his fellow trainees. He did his best to hide the evidence, but there were questions, like why he had cuts on his face and why his performance was poorer than it usually was.

But he lied. He said he fell and it was a simple accident and when given advice to go to the medic he shrugged it off and said….it’s not a big deal he’ll live. Besides the pain was worth it, he wouldn’t be sitting alone eating his meal as the men around him made lifelong friendships he couldn’t have. He would finally be one of them. 

He had never been more relieved when training was over. John made his way to the mess hall. He picked up a tray of food and walked into the cafeteria. His heart was racing as he took each step to the table.

“Hey guys” John said acting as if last night never happened, “can I sit-“

Before John could finish his sentence McNally lifted his foot and placed it over the empty seat.

“Sorry Sheppard,” He said, “we’re full.”

“Oh,” John said looking down into his tray of food, “well I guess I’ll sit somewhere else.”

As he walked to the empty table he fought back tears. He couldn’t cry. Future military men couldn’t cry, but it was difficult not to. It was a night of living hell which in the end was all for nothing. 

\----------------------------------------

 

Many years passed and Colonel John Sheppard had weathered many storms. He was home, it was far from Earth and a different galaxy, but he was different. He was loved and adored here for being a hero and for being himself.

He still remembered his desperate attempt to become one of the guys. He didn’t look at it as a traumatic event in his life, but as a testament of the “old him”, the one who would do anything to get by. It also affected the way he treated everyone he came across. Each man under his control was no different from the other.

As he walked into the Atlantis mess hall he saw a sea of faces some old and some new, his philosophy holds more true. A new sea of recruits came on the Daedelus that day. And from what John could see everyone was already getting along fabulously. All except for one.

In the corner he saw a young woman staring sullenly at her meal. He took his tray and sat across from her.

“Hey I’m John,” He said. 

It wasn’t long until a sea of people came to join them.


End file.
